The Wacky Adventures of Toaster and Co
by Space Toaster
Summary: The absolutely nonsensical capers of Freddy, Jason, Michael, Pinhead, Leatherface and Creeper, and a hyperactive teenage girl who bosses them around relentlessly.
1. Nothing like a good game of Chuckyball!

A/N: Well folks, seeing as I'm a lazy little snot and have nothing better to do, I'm turning this story into prose! That way, it'll be easier for me to describe things, and it'll make the story more enjoyable for everyone! Enjoy!

The Wacky Adventures of Toaster and Co.! 

Starring,

Freddy Krueger! (Freddy takes a fancy bow, the fan-girls squeal)

Jason Voorhees! (Jason just stands there blinking but everyone claps anyway)

Charles Lee Ray also known as Chucky! (The audience boos and throws eggs, Chucky swears at the audience and smacked on the head by Toaster)

Pinhead Who-I-Don't-Think-Has-A-Last-Name! (Pinhead dramatically bows to the applauding audience)

Michael Myers! (He just shyly waves to the audience, fan-girls squeal and faint)

Leatherface Who-Does-Have-A-Last-Name-Only-I-Don't-Know-What-It-Is-And-I'm-Too-Lazy-To-Find-Out!! (He waves)

The Creeper Another-Shmoe-Without-A-Last-Name! (Everyone claps, the Creeper just hisses)

Aaaaaaaaaand Space Toaster! (Toaster curtsies and waves, blowing kisses to the audience)

Toaster: Boys! The disclaimer!

Freddy: Toaster does not own any of the movies we're in!

Pinhead: And she definitely doesn't own us!

Chucky: And she doesn't really hang out with us! (Obviously)

Toaster: On with the show!

The story begins in a house. Eight figures, seven men, and a fourteen year-old girl to be exact, occupied the living room. Freddy Krueger was seating on the two-person couch, his legs rudely draped over the other cushion. Jason Voorhees sat in the armchair, surprisingly it held up his hulking frame. The three on the bigger couch were Pinhead, Michael Myers, and Leatherface. The Creeper sat on a chair he'd nicked from the kitchen, and Chucky leaned against the couch. Lying on the floor on her back was the pigtailed heroine/protagonist/nuisance Space Toaster. (Or just Toaster for short) She jiggled her right foot, a thing she often did when she was bored in school. After a long silence, she finally spoke.

"Are you guys as bored as I am?" She asked, turning her head to look at the various horror villains she called her friends. Jason nodded, Freddy shrugged. Toaster looked at Chucky. A grin spread across her face, giving everyone a view of her braces. Chucky didn't look happy.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" He asked, starting to back away. Toaster rolled over onto her stomach and leaned on her elbows. Her eyes flashed behind her blue sunglasses.

"Has anyone told you that you would make an excellent football?" She asked, her eyebrows rising and her grin widening. Chucky's plastic eyes widened until you'd think they'd pop out of his head. Before he could run, Toaster grabbed him by the head, got up, and booted him like a football. The killer doll went flying only to land in Pinhead's lap.

"Creeper!" He said, standing up. "Go long!" The winged monster ran a little bit and caught the doll. He lobbed the 'Chuckyball' at Freddy, who caught it and motioned for Michael to come over.

"Say Michael, I'll hold Chucky and you come running up and kick him!" Freddy said, a mischievous grin on his burnt fact. Michael didn't say anything, but he could he would have said. "I'm going to kick him to the moon!"

Michael went running, and Freddy pulled Chucky away a la Charlie Brown. He ended up kicking air, and Michael fell flat on his back with a scream of "ARGH!" Freddy looked quite proud of himself.

"I've always wanted to do that." He said, tossing Chucky (Who was now shrieking his head off) to Jason. Jason rolled him into a ball and started dribbling him despite Chucky's scream of "PUT ME DOWN, LUMPY!!!"

Leatherface jumped up and down, waving his arms. "Hey Voorhees, I'm open!" Jason passed Chucky to Leatherface, who dribbled him through the kitchen, into the bathroom and slam-dunked him in the toilet. Everyone (with the exception of Chucky) gave a shout of "HURRAH!" and dog-piled on Leatherface, despite the fact they were acting very out of character. (Hey, this story isn't supposed to make sense, it's just to make you laugh!)

"I've got to hand it to you, Chuckster. You're not as useless as you look!" Toaster giggled as she fished the drenched doll out of the toilet and gave him a towel. Chucky glared at her.

"_Chuckster?" _He asked, raising an eyebrow. Toaster just smiled and shrugged. She whirled around to face the others.

"Say! Who's up for drawing on the walls?!" She asked. Everyone raised his (and her) hand. Toaster got out some markers and the fun began!

"Jason, would you stand against the wall for me?" Toaster asked, holding a black crayon. He looked at her like she was nuts. Well, nuttier then she already was. "Ple-e-e-e-ease?" She asked, batting her eyelashes at him. Jason shrugged and did what she asked. She traced his outline onto the wall and stood back.

"Okay, you can move." She said, admiring her handiwork. She stood on a chair and drew bullet holes on the outline's forehead. "Look! It's one of those outlines you see on police shows!"

Pinhead chuckled. "Now you stand against the wall." He instructed, "I want to trace you."

"'Kay!" Toaster stood against the wall and let him draw around her. He added a knife sticking through her head and a mad face. Meanwhile, Freddy traced Chucky and drew claw marks on him.

"Not too bad if I say so myself." He said, standing back.

"That looks like a two year-old did it." Toaster said, deciding to be flat out honest. Freddy whirled around and tapped his claws together.

"What was that, Toaster dear?" He asked in a singsong voice. Toaster gulped and gave a nervous grin.

"Er, I mean it looks LOVELY." She said, even though she was lying through her teeth. Freddy grinned and went back to drawing. Toaster looked over at Jason who had just traced Michael. For some reason, there were holes drawn in his chest. Michael wrote on a slate: "What are those?" Jason wrote on his own slate: "You got blasted with a ray gun"

Chucky raised an eyebrow as he traced the Creeper. "Where did they find the slates?" Leatherface just shrugged and continued to trace Freddy.

Toaster now sat watching Michael trace Pinhead. "Wow Michael, you're a good artist!" Michael smiled (although it wasn't visible behind his mask) and patted Toaster on the head.

"I'm not a dog." Toaster huffed, even though she thought Michael giving out head-pats was adorable. She started to watch the Creeper trace Leatherface, but then she heard a car approaching. Her eyes widened with panic.

"Oh cheese whiz it's my mom!! She'll have a hissy fit when she sees this!" Toaster squeaked. "Quick! Hide your outline!"

After a mad scramble, everyone had pressed his and her backs against the wall, hiding the outline from view. Toaster's mother ambled into the room and looked absolutely befuddled.

"What ARE you doing?" She asked. The eight looked at each for a minute before Chucky spoke up.

"Meditating." He answered, looking at Toaster. He gave her the 'play along' look. She nodded.

"Take a deep breath, and you are one with the wall." She said, imitating Denise Austin's annoying breathy voice.

"Ooooom!" The other seven said. Toaster's mom looked even more confused.

"Er, all right. Have fun." She said, then exited the room and left to go grocery shopping. The eight let out a great sigh of relief. Toaster moved from her outline and started calling out orders.

"Okay, Freddy get some sponges and Leatherface, the soap! We've got to clean this up or my mummy will have my head!" She ran to get some buckets.

While cleaning, Chucky decided that was the time to cause trouble.

"Hey, Toaster?" He asked, trying to sound innocent. She turned her pigtailed head to look at him.

"You rang-" SPLAT! She took a sponge to the face. Chucky rolled over on the floor, laughing his head off Toaster growled and pulled a large frying pan from the pocket of her Hammerspace pants. It was her favorite weapon, the Frying Pan of Doom. (Or FPOD for short)

"Chucky," She said, "You just earned yourself a date with Senorita Frying Pan!" Then she lunged forward, chasing Chucky out of the room. She grabbed him by the hair and picked him up. She dragged him outside and shouted for the others to come out.

She lobbed Chucky right into the hands of Leatherface with a scream of "CHUCKYBALL!!!" Leatherface used him for a hackey-sack for a while, whirled around and tossed him to Creeper, who surprisingly put him down.

"Thanks buddy- Chucky started, but then the Creeper pulled a golf club from his coat.

THWACK!!

"FORE!!!!" Creeper shouted. "TRAITOR!!" Chucky screamed as he went sailing through the air. Freddy caught Chucky and held him down on the ground again. He gestured for Michael to come over.

"C'mon and kick it Mike! I won't pull it away!" He said, even though you could tell he was lying through his rotted teeth.

(This time I WILL kick it!) Michael 'said' as he ran forward. But alas, Freddy pulled the ball away AGAIN and poor Michael fell on his back.

Laughing like the madman he was, Freddy threw Chucky to Pinhead. Pinhead threw Chucky up into the air, and when he fell back down, Pinhead hit him with a bat. The poor, battered doll went flying, right through the neighbor's window.

The infamous maniac/preacher/midget boy Isaac Chroner strutted out of the house with some of his followers behind him. For some reason, he was wearing a frilly pink apron. Leatherface stifled a laugh.

"What's with the apron?!" He asked, biting his knuckle to get from laughing. Isaac's face turned even pinker than the apron.

"I was, uh, washing the dishes." He said, although most of the group bet he was lying. "Anyway, keep your pathetic and tacky friends out of my house, Space Toaster!" He said, holding Chucky up between his thumb and forefinger. Toaster glared at him.

"It's not MY fault! Pinhead hit him with the bat!" She said, hands on her hips.

"Uh, there's no proof of that." Pinhead lied, the bat concealed behind his back. Toaster grabbed him by the ear. She twisted it.

"Shut up and apologize to Chroner." She hissed. Pinhead winced as she twisted his ear even harder.

"I'm sorry." Pinhead said, hoping no one noticed he had his fingers crossed behind his back. Isaac gave a girly 'Humph!' and tossed the doll at Toaster.

"Next time, watch where you throw him or I'll sic He Who Walks Behind The Rows™ on you!" He said, his followers letting out an obnoxious "Yeeeeeah!" Then they flounced away towards their house.

"Nice apron!" Freddy yelled after Isaac. "You look like a prissy fruit-cup!"

Isaac whirled around and yelled back. "I happen to like it, thank-you-very-much!"

Toaster laughed and starting singing, "Isaac is a prissy-boy! Isaac is a prissy-boy!"

Isaac angrily shrieked and ran at Toaster with a butcher knife. She yelped and hid behind Jason's massive frame. He held up his machete, with made the butcher knife look like a letter opener. Isaac gave a girly scream and bolted towards his house, his followers looking on in embarrassment. The eight laughed and jeered and some slapped high-fives. Toaster jumped up and stood in front of the group.

"Say! Who's up for a Slurpee?" She asked, pushing her sunglasses up her nose.

"I'm game!" Chucky said, raising his hand. Freddy nodded. "Same here."

Toaster grinned. "Then let's go! I'm driving!" She bolted off towards the black van they used to get around. The seven guys blinked.

"But you're only fourteen!" Pinhead pointed out. Toaster shrugged with a smile on her face.

"That's what makes it interesting, now get in!" She said, climbing into the driver's seat. After Pinhead and Freddy argued over who got the front seat, (Freddy won) then Toaster pulled out of the driveway, and drove off to the 711.


	2. Ph33r my horrid driving skillzzz!

A/N: Here she is, CHAPTER TWO!

--------------------------------------

The Wacky Adventures of Toaster and Co. Chapter 2!

Toaster and Co. walked through the front door and did their best not to collapse. Black eyes, cuts, bruises, bloody noses, split lips, headaches, you name it. Freddy turned to Toaster, holding a raw steak over his black eye.

"You are_ never_ driving again." He growled, lightly poking her arm with a claw. Toaster frowned and pouted, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Aw come _on_!" She whined. "I only hit six trees this time!" The seven guys exchanged looks and rolled their eyes. Toaster was not only inexperienced, she also drove like a madwoman. How the cops hadn't gotten to her yet, they didn't know.

If Jason could talk, he would have said: "This calls for a flashback." There was a loud sound of:

_FLASH! BACK! WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOSH!_

Everyone looked around confused.

"Since when did we have sound effects?" Freddy wondered aloud. Toaster shrugged.

"Maybe because they sound cool."

The flashback began right where we left off, with Toaster running over the mailbox.

"Oh crap!" Toaster said, slamming her fist against the dashboard. Freddy shook his head.

"You've run that thing over so many times it's going to need therapy." He mumbled, earning a glare from Toaster.

Toaster floored it and sped down the street only to hit a teenager. She stopped and shouted out the window.

"Sorry! Tell the doctor to send the hospital bill to Ima Fakeperson." She shouted, before speeding off again.

"Pan, your driving like a maniac!" Chucky said from the backseat, holding onto his car seat for dear life. Toaster shook her head.

"Oh Chucky, speed limits are only a suggestion. Like pants!"

"Cool!" The sound of Leatherface unzipping his pants was heard. Toaster stopped the car and turned around.

"You keep those pants_on,_ Mister!" She commanded.

Leatherface pouted and zipped his pants up. "Aw…"

There was some bumps and high-pitched squeaks. Michael looked out the window and wrote on his slate.

"You just ran over some squirrels!"

Toaster rolled her eyes. "Says the guy who ate a DOG in his first movie." She retorted, steering past an old tree stump. Michael huffed, erased his message and wrote.

"So sue me! I was hungry!"

Toaster winced as she ran over some saplings. "Ouch. Mother Nature must be rolling in her grave."

"SEE? This is why kids shouldn't drive!" Freddy said, holding onto his hat. Toaster just scoffed.

"At least _I _don't drive twenty five miles over the speed limit! I only drive _ten_ over the limit, you crazy fathead."

Freddy slapped himself on the forehead. She was so dense sometimes, the little snot.

"Gee, I feel so loved." He mumbled. Pinhead pointed at the road ahead of them.

"Old person!" He yelled. Toaster swerved to the side to narrowly miss the elderly woman crossing the street.

"TREES!" Leatherface screamed. Toaster hit one of them and the van went spinning.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!!!!!" The passengers screamed and held on for dear life. Toaster got the van going straight again, only to hear Freddy point and shout.

"Marilyn Manson!"

Much to everyone's surprise, she floored it and ran him over. There was a long silence, save for Toaster's loudmaniacal laughter.

"…What just happened?" Pinhead asked, glancing at Jason. Jason held up his slate.

"She's scared of Marilyn Manson." It read. Creeper made everyone jump when he yelled.

_**"Toaster! Your brother!"**_

"EEK!" Toaster shrieked, swerving the van to avoid hitting her brother. (Whom she lovesvery very very very very very very very much!)

Her brother shook his fist and yelled after her. "I know where you live!"

By the time they had the reached the 711, they were beaten up. The van wasn't in very good shape either…

END! OF! FLASH! BACK! WHOOOOOSH!

Toaster stood there tapping her foot (size 7 just so you know!) on the floor. "So…what's your point?"

Leatherface shook his head.

"Does ANYthing get through her head?" He whispered to Freddy who shook his head.

"Obviously not."

They would've kept talking, but the Slurpees were melting.

Once Toaster finished hers, she stuck out her tongue.

"Ith mah tug bloo?" She asked. No one understood her so she borrowed Jason's slate. "Is my tongue blue?" She wrote. Everyone nodded. Chucky stuck out his tongue. It was green. Michael lifted his mask just to stick out his own tongue. Purple. Everyone blinked at him.

"So…what now?" Chucky asked, sitting back. No one said anything. Toaster piped up.

"Say! Why don't we go to the wharf and slug some rats?"

The boys just stared at her, not getting the joke. She shrugged.

"My dad makes that joke, okay? Um, I know! Let's go to the beach and club seagulls!"

"We did that yesterday." Freddy answered, polishing his claws on his sweater. Toaster blew some hair out of her eyes.

"Okay, how about seeing how many crayons I can fit up my nose?"

"Thirty seven. We did that last week." Michael wrote on his slate. Toaster sighed.

"Okay, fine. Then let's dig a tunnel to the center of the moon!"

Everyone just groaned. This wasn't the first time she suggested that. She watched FAR too many Flash cartoons. Everyone exchanged glances to see who would explain it too her_this_ time. All eyes fell on Pinhead, who sighed.

"For the last time Toaster, you **can't **dig a tunnel to the center of the moon." Pinhead said, rubbing his temples.

"YES I CAN!" Toaster shrieked. "It will be a special tunnel and it will go straight to the center of the moon!"

Before this lovely argument could continue, a brick came flying through the window. This brick decided it would be fun to shlonk Freddy in the head. Freddy clutched his head and swore to high heaven. Toaster shoved a bar of soap in his mouth (which he spat out when she wasn't looking) and looked at the brick.

"Well, burn my house and steal my car! There's an invite on this thing!" She said. Some of the guys crowded around her to get a better look. "We've been invited to a costume party."

There was a long silence before Leatherface spoke.

"Why does a costume party have to do with the story?" He wondered aloud. Jason scribbled onto his slate.

"It's a plothole, dummy."

"What should we do about costumes?" Chucky asked.

"Mike can sew them for us of we need him." Toaster said, "And ya know what? Let's just switch and we can go as each other! Whose with me?"

Everyone raised their hands except Freddy.

"Okay, I'll switch with Jason, Michael will switch with Creeper, Pinhead will switch with Freddy, and Chucky and Leather can switch." Toaster said, writing it down.

Freddy chuckled. "Jason has to go as a girl…" Toaster kicked him in the shin.

"Shaddap." She said, rolled out the sewing machine. She pulled up a chair. "Mikey? Will you do the honors?"

Michael cracked his knuckles and sat down.

LATER

Toaster put on her hockey mask and helped Jason with his pigtail wig. She looked over at the other guys. Pinhead was looking at the borrowed glove on his hand with disgust and Freddy was sticking pins into his head.

"Are you guys all ready?" She asked.

Michael straightened his long jacket and nodded yes. Leatherface was grumbling in his cute little overalls and striped shirt.

"Okay then let's go!" She said, grabbing the keys off the hook. They tromped out to the car. Michael reached over and plucked the keys from Toaster's hand.

"Hey!" She protested.

"I'm driving." He wrote on his slate. "You drive like a maniac, Leatherface can't tell a traffic light from a crossing guard, and Freddy can't go two blocks without swearing at pedestrians!"

Toaster nodded at the other guys. "What about them?"

"Pinhead drives like an old woman, Creeper's wings don't fit in the driver's seat, Chucky's feet can't reach the pedals AND he can't see over the steering wheel. And Jason doesn't even know HOW to drive."

"HEY! I driveway better then Toaster!" Freddy remarked.

"At least I don't run over the elderly on _purpose!"_ Toaster said, sticking her tongue out.

Michael, who had enough just screamed, **"Shut up and get in the freakin' van!!!"**

Toaster and Freddy hung their heads. "Yes sir." They mumbled, shuffling over to the van. Toaster made faces at his back for a few seconds, than Michael came over and swatted her across the backside.

"Okay! Okay! I'm going!" She whined, rubbing herposterior before she sat down. She crossed her arms, slouched in her seat and pouted.

Michael revved up the engine and they drove off. Toaster unwisely decided at that moment to burst into song.

"She's got a ticket to ride! She's got a ticket to ri-hi-hide! She's got a ticket to RIIIIIDE and she don't care-"

Everyone else in the van rolled their eyes.

"Toaster should be banned from singing." Chucky mumbled to Leatherface.

"Toaster should have her tongue removed." Freddy retorted.

"That can be arranged." Pinhead muttered, clicking the blades of his borrowed glove together. Toaster didn't hear. She was too busy singing The Beatles.

A/N: Hope you liked it! Reviews will beappreciated, flames will be ignored andused to make smores


	3. Costumes parties and the revenge of Mans...

The group was barreling down the road in their van, and Toaster was on her fiftieth song. She'd sung every Rammstein song she knew, (In German), several songs from Monty Python and her favorite musicals. Now she was on The Beatles.

"We all live in a yellow submarine, yellow submarine, yellow-"

The van screeched to a halt. Everyone turned turned around and screamed at her to "SHUT UP!" She pouted and slouched. (Although they couldn't see because she was wearing a hockey mask)

"You guys are_ no_ fun." She said, turning up her nose and crossing her arms over her chest. Everyone exchanged glances.

"Listening to you sing is anything_but_ fun, you little snot." Freddy scoffed, regretting that he had to sit next to her. Toaster lifted up her mask to glare at him.

"You're the one who's tone-deaf, buster!"

"I am not!" Freddy said, indignantly.

"Yes you are!" Toaster retorted.

"Am not!"

"Are too!"

"Are too!"

"Am not!"

"Are too!"

"Am not!"

"Are too-

Michael stopped the car and pounded on the dashboard to get their attention. He held up his slate, on it he'd written in big letters: "Don't make me come back there." Yes folks, Michael's the 'motherly' one in this story. Remember: It's not supposed to make sense!

Jason held up his own slate. He'd written: "I have to go to the bathroom." Pinhead groaned and slapped himself on the forehead.

"You should've gone before we left!" He mumbled. A cheeky grin spread across Leatherface's, er, face.

"Just try not to think of Niagara Falls, the Hoover Dam, tidal waves, dripping faucets, or Noah's Ark-

Creeper hissed, which meant something like "Now I have to go!"

"Same here!" Toaster whined. "Mike, just turn into that rest stop before everyone wets themselves. Chucky probably did already."

Chucky scowled. "I do_not_ wet my pants!" He screamed.

Toaster held up a package of training pants. "What do you call _these_ then, HMM?!" She asked, squinting at him.

Chucky shut his mouth. Michael pulled into the rest stop and everyone piled out except Freddy. Toaster stayed behind for a minute.

"You should come too! My teacher always says on field trips: Go when you can and not when you must!" She said. (And that's good advice!)

Freddy rolled his eyes and got out of the van. She narrowed her eyes at him and put her hands on her hips. She tapped her sneakered foot against the ground.

"Well?" She asked, Freddy sighed.

"If I do, will you shut up?"

Toaster rocked back and forth on her feet and walked away. "Fine." She said over her shoulder. He grumbled to himself.

"She's such a nag."

Now the gang was back on the road. It felt like they were taking a long time to get to their destination. Toaster, who'd taken a seat closer to the driver's seat, leaned over. She pushed back her hockey mask to communicate better.

"Hey Mikey are we lost?" She asked. Michael scrawled onto his slate fast and handed it to her. It said, "NO. And stop calling me Mikey!"

Toaster raised her eyebrows. "Look buddy, I'm the author. I'll call you whatever I darn well please!"

Michael rolled his eyes in his mask and kept driving.

Several hours later, half the van was asleep. Toaster was curled up and drooling on her seat, and Chucky was mumbling in his sleep. Jason's leg twitched and Freddy was snoring. _Loudly. _Finally, Michael figured out the directions and they found the house. It had been decorated to look like a haunted house.

Michael held up his slate. It read: "Pinhead, do me a favor and wake everyone up."

The Cenobite nodded. "With pleasure." He took a megaphone out from under his seat. (Talk about convenient, no?) He turned the volume up high and screamed.

"_**WAKE UP!!!!!" **_

Everyone woke up with a start and clamped their hands over their ears.

"For cripes sake!" Chucky groaned, twisting his pinky in his ear. "Did you have to yell?"

Before Pinhead answered, everyone heard a loud snoring. They looked, to see Freddy still sleeping like an ugly burnt-up baby. Toaster turned to Jason.

"Jason, sweetie, may I have my frying pan back for a moment?" She asked, sweetly. Jason nodded and handed it to her. After a few practice swings, she let loose and smacked Freddy in the head. Unfortunately, Freddy had nails stuck in his head for his costume. When she smacked him with the FPOD, she drove the nails in really hard.

"Owowowowowowowoww!" Freddy screamed, jumping up. He glared at Toaster.

"Whoopsy!" She squeaked. She threw her frying pan back at Jason and ran for it. Freddy clawed his way out of the van and chased her.

"You overweight little-! I'll KILL YOU!" He bellowed.

"I'm big-boned!" She yelled over her shoulder as she ran. The others at the van stood back and watched.

"Wow. She runs fast." Leatherface muttered. The other nodded. Freddy stopped, after having to holding up the 'skirt' of his Pinhead costume.

"Pinhead, how do you run in this stupid dress?!" He yelled over at him. The Cenobite scowled and stalked over to Freddy.

"It's not a dress, it's a kilt!" He huffed. Freddy smirked.

"Oh! Silly me! I didn't know they made _leather kilts!" _

"They do!" Pinhead said, handing him a business card. On the front it read 'Leather Kilts Unlimited.' Freddy took the card.

"Well I'll be stabbed…" He muttered. Toaster wandered back over with everyone else.

"I don't know about you guys, but I'm going inside."

She walked up to the door and knocked. The door was answered but none other then Isaac Chroner, and he was dressed like a pirate. Toaster stared at him wide eyed right before she collapsed on the floor in hysterical fits of laughter. Isaac blushed red.

"It's not that funny!" He scowled down at the girl rolling on the porch clutching her sides and giggling. She smiled and winked at him from behind her mask.

"It is too and you know it."

Leatherface came up the steps and looked down at Toaster. The boys were right behind him. He pulled her to her feet.

"Toaster what's so fun-

Toaster pointed at Isaac and the others had to fight to resist laughing. He rolled his eyes and moved from the door to let them in. (He gave Toaster a kick in the rear as she walked by)

The house was packed with people from various horror movies. Samara, Jack the Ripper, Hannibal Lector, Leprechaun, Ghostface, Jigsaw, the Firefly family, Candyman, and Carrie White. (Just to name a few) Before Toaster and her friends could do anything, Marilyn Manson stepped forward wearing a neck-brace. Behind her mask, the color drained from Toaster's face.

"Oh mushrooms." She muttered. Manson looked very angry.

"YOU!" He hissed. He grabbed a folding chair and began to chase her.

"Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeelp! I can't take this much running in one night!" Toaster wailed, running for her mother-loving life. Her friends watched the chase. Jason held up his slate, it said, "Should we do something?"

Freddy tapped his chin a moment. "Nah. Let's watch her suffer first."

Manson broke the chair over Toaster's head, knocking her to the ground. Then he grabbed by the neck and smashed her face against the wall many times.

"Good thing I'm wearing a hockey mask!" She said between smacks. Manson shoved her down and put his foot on her neck.

"First I'm going to rip out your pretty little eyes, then you get to listen to my music. For several hours." He growled. Toaster let out a gut-wrenching scream.

"NO-O-O-O-O-O-OO-O!!!"

Freddy finally stepped forward, flanked by the other boys.

"Okay, we're done watching." He said, and then he pounced on Manson. Manson's fans hissed and grabbed Toaster, hurling her out the window. One guy in the crowd broke out into song.

"They threw her out the window, the window! The second story window-AAAAAAAAAGH!" Chucky butchered him with his mini chainsaw. Toaster plunged out the window, screaming. Creeper leapt out the window and caught her under her arms. He hissed to her as they flew back up. She pouted.

"I'm not _that _heavy!" She said as he dumped her on the floor. Meanwhile, Freddy and Jason were giving Manson a thorough thrashing. She slapped herself on the forehead.

"We are going get sued BIG TIME." She ran over and tapped Freddy on the shoulder. "Cut it out. We're out of here."

"But we just got here!" Leatherface said.

Toaster glanced at him. "Do you _want _to get sued?"

The Manson fans hissed and held sharp objects. The eight made a run for the door.

"Apologies to any offended Manson fans!" Toaster yelled on the way out. They bolted across the lawn and piled into the van. Toaster grabbed Michael from the driver's seat and shoved Freddy in.

"It's your time to shine, Lead-foot!" She said, climbing over him into the passenger seat. Freddy blinked.

"What if I don't feel like driving?" He asked. Toaster scowled and pulled his fedora off Pinhead's head. She took a lighter and held Freddy's hat over it. She lit up the lighter.

"_Drive." _She said, through gritted teeth. Freddy peeled the van out of the driveway so fast it left a trail of molten rubber. Everyone else held on for dear life.

"Now what?" Chucky asked, from his car seat.

"We're going to T.P. Lector's house!" Freddy said, everyone cheered and they drove off into the night.


	4. Fun in a chatroom!

A/N: Hey, sorry for the absence!

The Chatroom Chapter!

_You are now logged onto Da CHAT_

_  
SpaceToastaPie has entered the room _

_FreddyK has entered the room _

_HockeyMaskManiac has entered the room _

SpaceToastaPie: Hey, guys! What's shaking?

FreddyK: Hey.

HockeyMaskManiac: ….. (Translation: Hi)

SpaceToastaPie: I called Chuckster and told him to get his plastic butt into chat. He should be in soon.

FreddyK: Feh! He's probably getting his stepladder to climb into the computer chair.

HockeyMaskManiac: LOL

SpaceToastaPie: Hahahaha! Good one, Freddy!

SlasherDoll has entered the room

SpaceToastaPie: Hola, Chucky!

SlasherDoll: Insert long slew of Spanish words

HockeyMaskManiac: OMGWTFBBQ!

SpaceToastaPie: Since when did you speak Spanish?

SlasherDoll: Since forever…

SpaceToastaPie: Cool…I know some German.

SlasherDoll: I knew it! You're a Nazi!

SpaceToastaPie: Am not! Just because I know German doesn't make me a Nazi. Fred's not a Nazi, and his last name is Krueger!

FreddyK: Oh sure, thanks drag ME into this!

SpaceToastaPie: I do it because I love you.

FreddyK: EW.

SpaceToastaPie: Marry me, Freddy! I want all ten of your children! We'll call them Freddy, Frederica, Frederick, Frederique and so on!

FreddyK: Shut up! You're fifteen!

SpaceToastaPie: I was just pulling your leg, SHEESH.

_NeedleFace has just entered the room_

_ChainsawBoi has just entered the room _

_CreeperMan42 has just entered the room_

SpaceToastaPie: Hey guys! What's up?

ChainsawBoi: The ceiling.

CreeperMan42: Rimshot

FreddyK: That was so funny I forgot to laugh.

HockeyMaskManiac: LOLOLOLOL

SpaceToastaPie: Jason thinks it's funny.

NeedleFace: He's an idiot…

SpaceToastaPie: Hey! Don't be mean!

NeedleFace: Bite me

SpaceToastaPie: You know I'll use that against you.

NeedleFace: Oooh, I'm so scared.

SpaceToastaPie: Your mother was a porcupine!

NeedleFace: Yours was a blender!

SpaceToastaPie: Pincushion!

NeedleFace: Fatty!

SpaceToasta: Momma's boy!

NeedleFace: Zombie fancier!

SpaceToastaPie: You leave Jason out of this!

NeedleFace: That's it, I'm out of here!

_NeedleFace has left the room_

ChainsawBoi: Ooh, pizza's here!

_ChainsawBoi has left the room _

_CreeperMan42 has left the room_

SpaceToastaPie: It's 2 AM, I'm going to bed. Night!

_SpaceToastaPie has left the room _

FreddyK: Whatever. Weirdos.

_FreddyK has left the room _

(Three hours later)

_HockeyMaskManiac has left the room _


	5. ROAD TRIP!

We now join our hero Toaster riding down the street in her big black van. She was singing and had Weird Al playing on the stereo.

"I'm driving a truck, driving a big ol' truck! Pedal to the metal hope I don't run out of luck! Rolling down the highway until the break of dawn, driving a truck with my high heels on!" She sang along, as she narrowly missed hitting a sapling. She parked in front of Freddy's house, 'tapping' the paperboy's bike and causing him to fall head over handlebars. She slammed on the horn. Freddy came running out holding onto his hat with a toothbrush hanging out of his mouth.

"All right already, Patient One! I'm here." He grumbled, taking the front seat. She glanced at him.

"Huh! I never knew you brushed your teeth. Anyway, on to Camp Crystal Lake!"

"Maybe I should drive-" Freddy began. Toaster looked at him, her eyes turned bloody red, her hair turned into hissing snakes and her tongue elongated.

"HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISSSSSSSSSSSSS!"

Freddy sat back down fast as he could. "Never mind."

Toaster turned back to normal quick as a whip and they dove off to Camp Crystal Lake. Toaster parked next to the lake.

"All right Fred-O, dive in and get him." She said, leaning back in her seat and resting her feet on the dashboard. Freddy scowled.

"Why can't you get off your lazy butt and do it?"

She leaned back farther and looked at him upside-down. "…Because I swim like a brick and I'm wearing new shoes." She held up her foot, showing bright green mesh slippers. "Aren't they pretty?"

Freddy wasn't listening, seeing as he had already dived into the lake. Moments later he surfaced with Jason and they got into the van. Freddy took off his sweater and wrung it out. Off-screen, there was a loud girlish squeal. Toaster grabbed a brick from the glove compartment and flung it. There was a thud and the squeal died down.

"Stupid fan-girls." Toaster grumbled. "They follow you everywhere!"

"Is somebody jealous?" Freddy grinned, Toaster turned red and glared at him.

"No. Now let's go to Haddonfield and get Michael." She threw the van in reverse and they drove off. Jason wrote on his slate: "But that's in Illinois!"

"This is a fan-fiction. It doesn't matter." Toaster said, "Heck, we're even going to skip us picking everyone up because it's going to take too long to write and I'm a lazy little author anyway."

"Really? That's a big surprise." Freddy muttered. Toaster heard him.

"Jason, I have to keep my eyes on the road. Punch Fred in the arm for me will you?" She asked. Jason, who was eager to please, did so. Hard.

"OW!" Freddy groaned holding his arm. Jason wrote on his slate and held it up.

"You big baby." It read. Freddy scowled and didn't talk until everyone else was picked up and in the van. (Much to Toaster's delight)

"Okay, now do you guys know why I came and picked everyone up?" Toaster stopped the car in a vacant lot and turned to look at everyone. There was a silence.

"Was it to play the Orange Game?" Pinhead asked, with slight nervousness. Toaster shook her head.

"You have a horrible disease and only have a few hours to live?" Chucky asked, looking a little hopeful. Toaster bristled a little bit and said 'no.'

A grin spread across Freddy's burnt face. "You're taking us to the laboratory to show us the beaker you spawned in?"

Toaster smacked him upside the head. "No."

"You're going to drive us off a cliff so we can fake our deaths and buy dune buggies with the insurance money?" Leatherface piped up. Toaster shook her head.

"No, silly! We're going on a _road trip!"_ She said, with a huge smile on her face.

There was a huge assortment of groans. She bounced impatiently in her seat.

"Come ON! It'll be fun!" She squealed.

"FUN! Listening to your stupid music and pointing out obscure license plates is fun!" Chucky asked, completely incredulous. Pinhead folded his arms over his chest and crossed on leg over the other.

"I refuse to come along!" He said. Toaster slapped herself on the forehead and mumbled something about blackmail.

"Okay, fine. Pinhead has a shrine to Stevie Nicks in his closet!" She said loudly. Everyone gaped at Pinhead.

"WHAAAAA?" Was their surprised answer.

"Chucky's full name is Charles Lee Forsythe Llewellyn Wilhelm Aloysius Hogarth Chocolate Thun-Da Ray the IV!"

That was it. The passengers roared with laughter. Chucky looked at Toaster, shocked.

"You pinky-promised you wouldn't tell! Pinky promised!" He howled. Toaster went on, yelling out every secret that came to mind.

"Freddy goes to his boiler room to cry! Michael loves Paris Hilton! Creeper's favorite color is pink-" She was interrupted by Jason clamping his huge hand over her mouth. He held up his slate. It said: "All right! We'll go with you!"

"Yay!" Toaster gave a muffled squeal of happiness and hit the accelerator.

"Where are we going?" Pinhead asked.

"It better not involve dancing." Freddy grumbled.

Michael held up his slate: "Or karaoke."

"Or dancing cannibal leprechauns from the planet Pluto." Leatherface said, not noticing everyone staring at him in stunned silence. Toaster gave a little smile.

"You'll see." She said, and put on her Music Man soundtrack. "Now, who wants to sing?"

A FEW SONGS LATER

Toaster smiled, showing off her braces.

"See? I told you this was fun."

The boys nodded, some rolled their eyes.

"And this must be my lucky day! The sun is shining, we're in a good mood and I haven't run anyone-

Just she was about to finish her sentence, the van hit Ghostface. "-over."

Toaster looked at the boys. "You didn't see that, comprende?"

They nodded and she drove around Ghostface and into the clichéd sunset.

What will happen now? Will they reach their destination? Will Ghostface have revenge? Will the U.S. ever adopt the metric system? Stay tuned to find out in another insane episode of **_The Wacky Adventures of Toaster and Co.!_**


	6. Farewell But Not Goodbye

The Farewell Chapter

The guys hung around on Toaster's lawn, waiting for the said teenager. Freddy stalked over to the side of the house and shouted up at Toaster's window.

"Hurry it up, piglet!"

Freddy then had to dodge as Toaster's unread copy of The Half-Blood Prince flew out the window. The large book instead landed on Chucky who of course let out a torrent of obscenities. Toaster's head popped out of the window.

"Hold your horses, Crispy, I can't find my other boot!" She disappeared in the window again.

"I thought you said you would clean your room yesterday!" Pinhead shouted up at her.

"I saw something shiny and got distracted. HEY! JASON!" Toaster shouted from her window. "Heads up, buddy!" She leapt out the window and right into his arms. "Thanks."

Jason nodded and put her down, patting her head. The Creeper hissed something.

"Watch your mouth." Toaster remarked. "So, what's the uppity, my home-fries?"

"You called us over here." Pinhead reminded her.

"Right…you guys are going to help me dig a hole."

"A hole? What the hell for?" Chucky remarked.

"A hole…TO CHINA!" Toaster announced dramatically.

"…That has to be the dumbest plot I've ever heard." Chucky answered.

Toaster dropped the dramatic pose.

"So sue me, I need some comedy to build up to the schmaltzy ending of this chapter!" She said. "Or, I thought maybe it would be fun if we took on a mystery case, like Columbo or something…"

"The only mystery here is why we take orders from a fourteen year-old girl who hasn't seen any of our movies." Pinhead snorted with derision. 

"She's fifteen, genius." Freddy said, picking his teeth with one of his claws.

_"Seventeen."_ Toaster corrected. The guys all stopped short and stared at her. 

"SEVENTEEN?! When did that happen?!" Leatherface shrieked.

"Well duh. I rewrote this story in 2004, and I haven't updated since June 27, 2005! Two years ago! Who do you think I am, Peter Pan? I age." Toaster shrugged.

The guys all stood there in silence. Then Jason started singing in his lovely baritone voice.

"Happy birthday to yoooou-"

"It's too late for that, Jason." Toaster looked at her watch. "…In fact, six months too late, with it being November and all."

"The bad news just keeps on coming!" Leatherface wailed.

"Next thing you know you'll be eating prunes and using a walker." Chucky snickered. "We'll have to put a wheelchair lift on your van."

"Shut up, Chucky. Anyway…there's more bad news." Toaster took on a more serious tone. "I have to go away."

"…You mean you're done with this story?" Pinhead asked.

Toaster sighed and kicked the ground with the toe of her sneaker.

"Yeah…it's been so long, and, I just don't have it in me to finish this story anymore. I wish I could stay, but it wouldn't be the same. So, before I go, I just want to ask you guys something."

"Name it." Jason had scrawled on his slate.

"…Can we play Chuckyball one last time?"

Everyone looked at the killer doll, who sighed.

"The things I do…"

Toaster squealed and hugged Chucky fiercely…then she dropped him when she realized she was smooshing his face right into her chest.

"FORE!" She shouted, punting him into Jason's hands, and thus The Temporarily Final Round of Chuckyball began.

Afterwards Toaster stood outside her van to say goodbye. She went up to the Creeper and hugged him.

"Creeps, I don't know anything about you, but it was nice knowing you."

He hissed in response and she smiled.

"Yeah, me too."

Michael was next, he bent down to give her a hug.

"Bye, Mikey. Thanks for being like my second mommy."

Michael held up his slate: "Take care of yourself."

"I will…" She moved on to Leatherface, who was sobbing into a filthy handkerchief. "…No offense, but you are REALLY out of character right now. Then again, you always were since I know hardly anything about your character."

"I don't care, I'm going to miss you!" He sniffled, throwing his arms around her. She smiled and patted him on the back.

"I'll come back and visit."

Toaster stood in front of Pinhead now. 

"Well, it sickens me to admit it…I'm going to miss your antics." He held out his hand.

Toaster smiled. "Coming from you, that means a lot." She returned the handshake and moved on to Jason. Before she could even say anything, Jason scooped her off the ground and lifted her up in a rib-crushing hug.

"Jason, I don't think she can breathe." Pinhead noted. "Her face isn't normally that shade of blue."

The zombie man-child nodded and put her down, patting her head. Toaster smiled and hugged him back, even though she could hardly get her arms around him. 

"I'll miss you too, big guy. Don't let Freddy boss you around too much." She moved in Freddy. "Heh, speak of the dream stalker…"

Freddy lightly flicked the tip of her nose with his ungloved hand. "Try not to miss me too much, kid."

"Heh, I won't." She punched his arm and then stood in front of the last guy, Chucky. She sighed, kneeled down and hugged him.

"You know, I think I might miss you the most. When I invented Chuckyball I was inspired to write this story."

"Yeah, yeah, I'll miss you too, enough with the schmaltz, you're squishing me!" The killer doll wriggled out of the hug, dusting himself off.

Toaster climbed into her van and waved out the window. "Bye guys! Don't worry, some of you will be in my next fic! It's like Jem once said: 'This is farewell, but not good-bye!'" She turned up the radio extra loud and backed out of the driveway. And just as she sped off, she ran over Marilyn Manson.

And she was gone.


End file.
